in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
