So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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