How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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