And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
