how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
