She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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