I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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