I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
