puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
no you cant smoke seaweed
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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