I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
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