Walk of Shame. In a state park.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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