I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just cut my nipple shaving
the day after is always just damage control
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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