She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
