You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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