No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
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I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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