he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
