just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?