You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
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At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
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Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF