hey, what are you doing tonight?
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.