I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.