forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
