umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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