Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
