loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
