is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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