Michael Bay diarrhea
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
