Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
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My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
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he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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