And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
