Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
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Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
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Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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