whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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