You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
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