What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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