there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
