All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
