Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
