You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
i've created a new STD.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
