All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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