And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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