She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
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