he referred to my room as the tit cave...
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
