That's when you crack a 10am beer
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize