Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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