Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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