She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
you made out with another girl for some wings
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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