Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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