dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
