your parents love me but you hate me
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
