my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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