just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
