everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
porn star boner night. come get it.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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