Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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