bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
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