5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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