apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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