if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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