No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Who died my cat blue again?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
