O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
