physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize