Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Randomize
