i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Who died my cat blue again?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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