Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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